Love: Fantasy and Reality battle



             I really hate this feeling.Feeling empty and alone.Unexplained loneliness feels like it secretly killing me. My heart ache and I don't know why. Afraid of heart attack  coz sometimes I felt the pain on my chest and I can't breath.My heart and mind longing for an impossible man to meet. Imagining to be with him and my heart had an extreme desire to be with him. I know his existence but he does'nt know I exist and loved him in secret. This is strange, I am weird . I have a man beside me for 16 years and feeling this way is liked cheating him. I admit, we built a family but  love is'nt the foundation of it. Pity and responsibility are the reason why we are here in this castle. I think a one sided love. I want to go away but welfare of my  child is my number one priority. I have lot of regrets and I wish I am with the man who makes my heart happy.
       My life is better even if sometimes there are short comings. Yes he is responsible but why I felt it is'nt enough. I hate myself for being like this. I did'nt mean it. My mind and heart are like in battle between devil and angel, right versus wrong.
        Why is it sometimes I felt I was covered with darkness? Hopeless and cried without proper reason. The man that made my heart happy is unreachable yet I am still hoping that fate will bring us together.Maybe I am just influenced by the drama I've been  watched.Creating my own fictional story.But no this is not just imagination this  man really makes my heart full everytime I see his photo. We are'nt connected but I hope someday our heart will beat as one. It's so hard handling a feeling like this. I can't tell anyone about this I'm scared because there is no assurance about  this crazy feeling. Fantasy and reality  I almost can't recognize it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Alamat ng Balimbing

Image
  Naome Valentine            Sa bayan ng San Manuel ay may tatlong matalik na magkaibigan. Sina Bal, Lim at Bing. Si Bal ay isang abogado at kilala na isang matapang na tagapagtanggol ng mga naaapi at walang kakayahang kumuha ng abogado para ipagtanggol ang sarili nila sa korte. Si Lim ay isang Doctor at nagbibigay ng libreng serbisyo sa kanyang mga kababayan. Si Bing naman ay isang politiko. Ilang beses na siyang nahalal bilang Mayor ng San Manuel.             Kapag walang trabaho ang tatlong magkaibigan ay magkasama sila sa kubo sa loob ng malaking bahay nila Bing. Kumakain sila, magkwentuhan at inuman na rin.Sa kanilang tatlo si Bing ang nasusunod sa mga desisyon na kailangan nilang gawin. Kung ano ang sasabihin ni Bing iyon ang susundin nila Bal at Bing.              " Pre bakit hindi kayo sumalang sa politika? Total naman ay kilala kayo, sigurado mananalo kayo.            Hindi na kailangan pre, ok na ako sa ganito sakit sa ulo lang yan! sagot ni Bal.             Oo nga pre
Read more

Chicken Feet Soup Filipino Style

Image
               Some people don't like eating chicken feet because it is discarded as waste product. They thought it is disgusting because live chicken usually step on their own poop even though it is well cleaned before cooking it. It looks weird and not appetizing. Some aren't familiar about it and how to cook it.                In Mexico, Peru,Jamaica,Vietnam chicken feet are cooked and eaten. China is the most popular in eating chicken feet. It can be found everywhere from formal banquet halls or in an ordinary eatery or at home. In Korea chicken feet is stir fried with hot chili sauce.They are often eaten as good serve with alcohol. In the Philippines  we called it "adidas" as it looks like the logo of popular shoe brand Adidas. Filipinos most popular way of cooking chicken feet  is marinated in a barbecue sauce and grilled like a barbecue. One of the famous street food sold in the street.           Chicken feet looks yucky but it is abundant with health benefits.
Read more

Tofu Recipes and Health Benefits

Image
              Tofu is a white blocks made from soybean curd. From a soybean plant processed and extracted soybean milk from a soybeans it is soak in water, crushed and boiled. It is a good source of protein and best substitute for meat. Vegan or people who don't eat food from animals usually use tofu as part of their diet. It is affordable and budget friendly. There are lots of recipe using tofu as the main ingredients.               Tofu Nutrional Value                       According to Healthline     One 3.5-ounce (100-gram) serving of tofu offers ( 2 Trusted Source ): Protein:  8 grams Carbs:  2 grams Fiber:  1 gram Fat:  4 grams Manganese:  31% of the RDI Calcium:  20% of the RDI Selenium:  14% of the RDI Phosphorus:  12% of the RDI Copper:  11% of the RDI Magnesium:  9% of the RDI Iron:  9% of the RDI Zinc:  6% of the RDI                           Health Benefits of Tofu             It has nine essential amino acids. A good source of iron and calcium. It has also minerals lik
Read more