𝒩𝒶ℴ𝓂ℯ 𝒱𝒶𝓁ℯ𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃ℯ

             I really hate this feeling.Feeling empty and alone.Unexplained loneliness feels like it secretly killing me. My heart ache and I don't know why. Afraid of heart attack  coz sometimes I felt the pain on my chest and I can't breath.My heart and mind longing for an impossible man to meet. Imagining to be with him and my heart had an extreme desire to be with him. I know his existence but he does'nt know I exist and loved him in secret. This is strange, I am weird . I have a man beside me for 16 years and feeling this way is liked cheating him. I admit, we built a family but  love is'nt the foundation of it. Pity and responsibility are the reason why we are here in this castle. I think a one sided love. I want to go away but welfare of my  child is my number one priority. I have lot of regrets and I wish I am with the man who makes my heart happy.        My life is better even if sometimes there are short comings. Yes he is responsible but why I felt it is'